Why I post on Social Media

Many people may wonder why I post so much on social media.  And even if you don’t wonder I’m going to tell you why.  Some are aware that I don’t have the best memory.  It’s my problem and I’m not sure why I have it but I know I have it, I recognize the issue and I’ve done ok living with it.  For a long time, I’ve relied on my siblings, family and friends to “help” me remember things that I think I should remember, but for some reason the memory bank just doesn’t produce.   My memory problem is a very real problem to me. 

It bothers me that I don’t remember “stuff”.  However, I realistically took a look at my family history and pretty much can see the writing on the wall and that is one reason why I post a lot on Facebook and other social media sites.  The old saying "A Picture is worth a thousand words" is so true for me in fact I used to be a picture taker, I have always had a camera and I have loads of picture albums from days before cell phones.  So now with cell phone pictures making it so easy and convenient to just upload a post. And doesn't everyone love it when Facebook tells me I have memories to look back on. And when I look it brings a smile to my face and warms my heart because, Yes.. I love good memories.

Now the second reason I post a lot is because I want others to post a lot.  I truly love reading the posts and seeing the stories that make up our lives, especially those special things that my family do or say.  One of the saddest moments of any day is when I open my social media and see that none of my family or close friends have posted anything.

I know for a fact to have friends you must be friendly.  And in the end only the friendships you have cultivated to create a love and trust relationship will sustain the test of time.  One of the saddest things in the world is when I go to visit Dad at his home, and hear the stories from the caregivers that no one comes to visit some of the other people who live there. Now there is of course another obvious reason why no one comes and that is because the Alzheimer’s patients don’t remember who the people are that come even if they do come.   But still it’s a proven fact that we all need affection, love, interaction with other humans. 

So back to my original question.  Why do I post?  Because I want to save my memories.  And to me right now social media is the easiest most convenient way for me to file those memories for quick access.  Just remember I’m counting on you to make a few post yourself.  I want to hear about your grandkids, and who had the most delicious dinner ever or if you are watching the most gorgeous sunset you’ve ever seen in your life.  Or maybe it’s just something simple that you talked to your dad, or you heard a good joke.  Share it, let me be a part of your life too.  We are friends for some reason or another and that means I want to hear from you.  

He Must Love You Very Much

HE MUST LOVE YOU VERY MUCH

Unfortunately, Thursday was not a good day.  At least for the many people I had the privileged to talk to on the phone while answering their 911 call.  I say privilege because it truly is.

I recently read a quote "Many people go through their life wondering if they made a difference in others lives."  I don't have to wonder, I know I do every day.  Especially while I'm working.

One of the first calls I answered this particular Thursday went something like this.

Me: "Emergency dispatcher, what is the address of the emergency?"

At this point most people who are having true emergencies either aren't listening or just too upset to hear the question,  they immediately break into their story of what's wrong and why they need my help.

"My husband won't respond to me, this is the first time since I've known him that he didn't wake up immediately when I walk into the room.  He's a very light sleeper, but he's not waking up, he's breathing but won't wake up.  Please hurry and send some help"

Immediately my heart is starting to break,  It's fairly early about 6:30am and in my experience this is not a good beginning to the story.

I ask her again what is the address and immediately start the help when she confirms it.  Unconscious person, lights and sirens.  And I assure her help is on the way. Then I continue the questioning.

"Are you sure he's breathing? When was the last time you saw him awake?"

"Last night we went to bed around 10pm."  Her voice is frantic and she continues spilling information and I type it in the call as quickly as possible.  "Our 50th wedding anniversary will be on the 23rd, He always wakes up when I walk in the room.  But my son has been calling him and I've been checking on him this morning.  He has Parkinson, and dementia, his hand trembles terribly, we found his hose loose on his c-pap machine but we plugged it back and he is breathing, he must have accidentally pulled it loose in his sleep."

My heart is sinking lower and I am holding back the tears, I need to be steady, a rock in this time of crisis I can't let her hear the sadness in my voice she needs to believe for a while longer that the love of her life is still with her. I finish my questioning and then we just talk, while we wait for the paramedics.

I talk to her about how much he must love her to light up so every time she walks in the room.  She takes joy in hearing this at least it seems she does. The frantic in her voice lessen a little yet the concern is still very present.  I tell her to talk to him and let him know help is coming, I tell her he can probably hear her and will be comforted by her voice. Her voice is soft and loving when she talks to him.  I can tell it's a relationship that has been nurtured for a long time.

I continue to calm and reassure her help is coming. I ask her to be sure her son unlocks the door and get her husbands medications out so the paramedics can see what he takes.  It's routine now, there isn't much else we can do until the paramedics arrive.  The c-pap machine is breathing for him or at least giving the appearance that he is breathing.  She is holding his hand. It's time to keep it calm until help arrives and can take over.

The minutes seem like hours as I assure her help is coming.  She talks about their wedding and what a happy day it was.  She tells me her son lives with them now since her husband has been sick.   I am glad at this moment I hope and pray he is able to provide the comfort she will need in the coming days, weeks, months.  I don't tell her it will be OK, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be OK.  But I keep reminding her how much He Loves Her.  I hope she will remember that for a very long time.

Rescue in the Sky!

**This story is based on an actual event.  Neil is my father and he told me of this Rescue that he performed when he worked at Kitt Peak.  I am not sure of the exact date of this rescue but I think it was in the late 60's.  I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoying hearing him tell it over dinner one evening in 2013.** 

RESCUE IN THE SKY

Neil was in his early thirties when he moved with his wife and three kids from his hometown in Beaumont, Texas to Tucson, Arizona. When Neil lived in Texas he was a firefighter.  He loved his job and all the excitement that came with being a fireman. In Tucson the fire department wasn’t hiring so after trying a few odd jobs Neil went to work for Kitt Peak National Observatory.   You can find their website here @  http://www.noao.edu/kpno/

Kitt Peak National Observatory is a facility built on the tallest peak in southern Arizona.  Kitt Peak has huge telescopes pointed toward the dark night skies in the Arizona Desert. Scientist from all over the world travel to Kitt Peak to observe and study the stars to learn and discover new and exciting things about this amazing world we live in. Kitt Peak was founded in 1958 and in the late sixties when Neil was working there it was still in the process of building new telescopes and buildings in the complex. 

Neil was hired to be a supervisor in charge of the custodian department.  He took pride in his job. Always doing his best to inspire and help those that worked under him.  At that time there was a single fire truck on the mountain and everyone who worked on the mountain was told that if there was ever an emergency they should turn the siren on the fire truck to alert the rest of the community that there was an emergency. 

One normal day everyone was busy working on their projects. The cooks were cooking, the scientist were sleeping waiting for the evening hours when they could study the stars in the dark of night, the custodians were cleaning, the construction workers building, the painters were painting. There was always a lot of work to keep the telescopes clean and spotless.

Jimmy was a painter. He had been hired by the contractor to repaint the outside walls of the big solar telescope. The solar telescope is a huge telescope that the scientists use to study the sun. 

Jimmy got to work and hooked on his safety belt, climbed up the scaffolding, three stories in all and climbed into the safety basket and pulled himself up 65 feet in the air to start painting. He thought he tied the basket tightly but for some reason his counter weight came undone. The next thing Jimmy knew he was falling down and falling down fast. His safety belt caught him and jerked him out of the safety basket and left him dangling in the air about 60 feet from the ground while his safety basket kept falling till it finally stopped about 20 feet below him.

Another worker happened to see Jimmy when he fell and ran to the building where Neil was working to tell him of the fall. Neil jumped on the fire truck, turned on the siren and quickly drove to the big telescope. He left the siren going and ran to see Jimmy dangling in the air from his safety belt. 

Neils’ firefighting training kicked in and he immediately sprang into action. Neil quickly instructed the others to help pull the scaffolding over and under the safety basket. Neil then climbed the scaffolding and grabbed the end of a rope that was hanging from the safety basket. Neil then climbed the dangling rope hand over hand about 30 feet up and got in the safety basket. Then he pulled himself and the basket to where Jimmy was dangling in the air. Neil asked Jimmy if he was ok and after checking that Jimmy was alright Neil pulled Jimmy into the basket and cut Jimmy loose from his safety belt that had left him dangling from the tall telescope. The other workers had brought a big ladder and set it up on the scaffolding. Neil let the basket down to the ladder and he and Jimmy climbed down the ladder and then down the scaffolding to safety. 

Neil went back to work, not realizing the impact his heroic efforts had on the rest of the community. Word spread quickly on the mountain and the story of the “Rescue in the Sky” reached the Superintendent.

The next day the Superintendent called Neil into his office. He told Neil that because of his heroic efforts they decided to double his salary and put him in charge of not only the custodian department but also the cooks and the fire department.

Once again Neil was doing the job that he loved!

Build a House and Serve God.

So many emotions, so much to let out, so much to keep in.  Should I write, shouldn't I write. Will I be perceived as an emotional wreck if my eyes should decide to leak because the words I write break my heart.  My nose hurts because I scrunch it up trying to keep the tears in my eyes. Why does getting old have to be such a rough experience.  I don't believe it was intended to be this way.  For some reason when I was growing up no one mentioned of the agony of waiting for the days to pass.  The battle of not knowing day or night. The pain and frustration of not knowing where you are or what you are supposed to be doing and if there's even anyone else who knows.  And do you believe them when they tell you it will all be okay.  They say they are taking care of things, but that's not the way it was supposed to be. As the parent he believes he should be taking care of it all.  If only he could understand, he already did.  The beginning.

Dad bought property and built a home.  I call it a home because that's what it was, not a house but a home.   The three kids we each had our own room and got to pick out what color carpet we wanted.  Mine was orange shag.  I loved it.   Dad worked hard building the home.  I remember many evenings spent on the property while dad and mom worked.  The best help we could be was to stay out of trouble and his way which we did pretty well.  

We grew up on this beautiful property and the surrounding area riding horses and mini bikes.  Wading in the creek when there was water and walking in the sand beds when there wasn't.  Hiking the mountains, and swimming in the pools.  We loved it!  Life was grand!  We each grew up and married and built homes on the property that my dad had worked so hard to provide for us.  The agreement was the take care of my mom and dad when they grew older.  My mom left us far too early.  A stroke that she only partially recovered from and then other diseases that racked her body and wouldn't allow her to continue being who she needed, wanted, desired to be.  My father and sister and others including myself were her faithful caregivers till her fragile body gave out. 

Dad continued living his life but never quite the same.  He remarried for a while but it didn't work out as age and a diagnoses and symptoms of Parkinson's Disease began to deteriorate his body and mind.  Which bring us to where we are today.

 

Why is this part so hard?  How to know which choice to make. Even though he said it, and I thought I understood what he said, even put it in writing, and yet I am still finding it difficult. What if he really didn't mean it.  What if he changed his mind and doesn't feel that way anymore?   And yet I know it's what I would want should it be me in his situation and my children living with the responsibility of making decisions for me.  

Before things got too bad, when there were still moments of clarity and Dad was still living in the home he built for us all.  We were sitting at the dining room table and I asked Dad, "If you could have or do or accomplish anything in the world and money wasn't an issue, what would it be?" He stopped for a moment and thought about his answer then said, "Well, I guess I'd like to work hard and buy a piece of property so each of my kids could build a house and raise their family to love and serve God."  I could hardly contain my excitement and quickly replied "Dad, dad, Congratulation! You've done it! You have accomplished the thing you wanted most in life.  You can relax and rest in the knowledge that you have DONE IT!  We are all grown up and now our families are building families and homes of their own. Continuing the tradition of family, loving and working, and living and caring, that you taught us."  And yet in his despair, his moment of clarity gone for now he just shook his head and placed it in his hands and said. "But this isn't my house." 

And because of all that I believe we have made the right decision.  We have placed him somewhere safe.  Where caring people can help him and call us if there is a need.  He is well taken care of in a clean, safe, cozy, home like environment.  And yet we still feel we should do more.  But how can you love any more than you already love. How can you be more than your very soul is being?  

You can't.  You can only just keep giving it what you've got to give.  Praying and believing, standing on the promises of God’s word with faith and love.  And asking for Gods help to be strong and faithful while caring for one of His sons who is in the process of making his journey home.