He Must Love You Very Much

HE MUST LOVE YOU VERY MUCH

Unfortunately, Thursday was not a good day.  At least for the many people I had the privileged to talk to on the phone while answering their 911 call.  I say privilege because it truly is.

I recently read a quote "Many people go through their life wondering if they made a difference in others lives."  I don't have to wonder, I know I do every day.  Especially while I'm working.

One of the first calls I answered this particular Thursday went something like this.

Me: "Emergency dispatcher, what is the address of the emergency?"

At this point most people who are having true emergencies either aren't listening or just too upset to hear the question,  they immediately break into their story of what's wrong and why they need my help.

"My husband won't respond to me, this is the first time since I've known him that he didn't wake up immediately when I walk into the room.  He's a very light sleeper, but he's not waking up, he's breathing but won't wake up.  Please hurry and send some help"

Immediately my heart is starting to break,  It's fairly early about 6:30am and in my experience this is not a good beginning to the story.

I ask her again what is the address and immediately start the help when she confirms it.  Unconscious person, lights and sirens.  And I assure her help is on the way. Then I continue the questioning.

"Are you sure he's breathing? When was the last time you saw him awake?"

"Last night we went to bed around 10pm."  Her voice is frantic and she continues spilling information and I type it in the call as quickly as possible.  "Our 50th wedding anniversary will be on the 23rd, He always wakes up when I walk in the room.  But my son has been calling him and I've been checking on him this morning.  He has Parkinson, and dementia, his hand trembles terribly, we found his hose loose on his c-pap machine but we plugged it back and he is breathing, he must have accidentally pulled it loose in his sleep."

My heart is sinking lower and I am holding back the tears, I need to be steady, a rock in this time of crisis I can't let her hear the sadness in my voice she needs to believe for a while longer that the love of her life is still with her. I finish my questioning and then we just talk, while we wait for the paramedics.

I talk to her about how much he must love her to light up so every time she walks in the room.  She takes joy in hearing this at least it seems she does. The frantic in her voice lessen a little yet the concern is still very present.  I tell her to talk to him and let him know help is coming, I tell her he can probably hear her and will be comforted by her voice. Her voice is soft and loving when she talks to him.  I can tell it's a relationship that has been nurtured for a long time.

I continue to calm and reassure her help is coming. I ask her to be sure her son unlocks the door and get her husbands medications out so the paramedics can see what he takes.  It's routine now, there isn't much else we can do until the paramedics arrive.  The c-pap machine is breathing for him or at least giving the appearance that he is breathing.  She is holding his hand. It's time to keep it calm until help arrives and can take over.

The minutes seem like hours as I assure her help is coming.  She talks about their wedding and what a happy day it was.  She tells me her son lives with them now since her husband has been sick.   I am glad at this moment I hope and pray he is able to provide the comfort she will need in the coming days, weeks, months.  I don't tell her it will be OK, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be OK.  But I keep reminding her how much He Loves Her.  I hope she will remember that for a very long time.